I need to write something down to start letting go. I really want to let go but I think I've been forcing myself to let go and be happy too early. I mean really, what was there to grieve? it probably seems silly to others but the process almost took deposits of my emotions, building it high- then a sudden depletion. And I guess I'm just human. My hubbs manifests heartache in different ways. It's really hard to know what he's really thinking, but I know he's processing this physically somehow.
I feel like someone's grabbed my heart and is squeezing it- I have heartache. I finally cried a lot about the guilt I feel towards my husband. My inadequacies as a wife- He doesn't blame me, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't feel somewhat responsible. I know all this is silly and I will get over this. I'll find peace again, I might even think about going thru IVF again.
There is no rush in "getting over this". The disappointment that is felt from a failed IVF is something that you will carry with you forever. You wouldn't have gone through with it if you didn't have hope that it would work. What you go through for IVF along with your 2 week wait is intense. You are bound to carry that with you forever. As a wife we naturally want to be pleasers. You didn't let your husband down. You are part of the same team with the same goal. Good luck.
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