a day off

It's been a day since we heard the news.  Negative results to my blood preg. test.  We had a good cry, lots of talks lying on the bed- about life, why this(mostly by me), what did I ever do so wrong to deserve this from God, anger, saddness, anger again and saddness, denial.  My emotions were high, at some point I was fine- as if nothing happened.  then during our conversation, my hubby mentioned how he always imagined himself to be a father - that just broke me.  Again, we don't know why it didn't work- everything seemed fine.  Of course, the most common reason of failed IVF is embryo emplantation failure- but my uterus looked "great", and my embryos were beautiful excellent embryos-

after a few, I realized that I felt relieved.  I was so tense and nervous before the news, and today I am so sore from all that tension I was holding till yesterday. So we both took a day off and went to do what we wanted to do.  Some spaiing, eating, saying "I love you" several times...and really mean it each time. We are so much closer now than before.  We didn't blame each other- how can we? we can make a beautiful embryos together, and I have a picture to prove it. :) life goes on.