Lucid Dream

I had a change of heart this morning.  Something didn't feel right- we opted for 10 eggs to be fertilized, due to recommendation of the coordinator...she basically gave us worst case scenario and for us to be ready to fail & do this again.  Ha. I can't imagine doing this again.  Especially after today.  I also remembered Dave Ramsey saying not to make any decisions out of fear- that is the wrong decision.  And 10 is a luxurious generous spending for eggs to fertilize. We will for sure have left over zygotes to freeze- lives.  I also thought about God. What would He say about this? Did we do our best to limit the spillage of lives? So I spoke with my hubbs about limiting the eggs to 8.  So here was my calculation.

harvest 8 eggs
ICSI 6
natural fertilization 2
process through Blastocyst, which leaves total of 2~4.  Or perhaps 1. 

So we will have 2 at the most left.  I felt good about that.  It's very possible that we'll have none left over, which means, if we were to do this again, I'd have to go through a fresh cycle of all- this. Oh joy.

I quickly prepped and was lying in the OR.  Things looked very strange- machines and contraptions, lights. anesthesiologist introducing himself and giving me a rundown of what would happen during & after.  I quickly knock out and start dreaming the most amazing dream.  I didn't want it to end! Salvador Dali paintings and Magrit paintings coming alive in my head... melting clocks and windows flying around and I was overjoyed that I kept talking when I was coming around. Apparently the anesthesiologist was a big fan of Dali too.

Afterwards, I felt some pain, but nothing big.  But I couldn't wake up.  I heard everyone, but I couldn't wake up for several hours.  Nurses and Drs kept checking in to see if I was awake, but I couldn't keep my head up or my eyes open.  I knew who was around me, but I couldn't get up. So I slept, what seemed like 30 minutes was actually 4 hours.  Three nurses had to help me into a wheelchair to my car, and I zonked out in the car till suddenly, I just woke up.  That was the 5th hr.  We got something to eat...I was craving dduk gguk (korean ricecakes in soup), and that hit the spot.  Zombied into Korean market to buy some food for rest of the week..must prepare for next week's bed rest....  came home and zonked out.  Woke up at 7PM & I'm still in & out of lucid dreaming.  My Dr. will call me tomorrow morning with results of the harvest. 

My husband asked me one question.  What would you do if it doesn't work this time?